do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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