Tell her she can't have a vagina
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
