im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
