hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize