If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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