woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
