i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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