my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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