Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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