apparently the secret to your success is patron
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
