But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
