When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
