you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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