Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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