Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
