i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
