We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
