i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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