I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
