yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
