and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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