I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize