Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
