The best revenge is premature balding
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
