Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
