i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
