let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
