shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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