You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
