I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize