I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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