U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
