brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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