Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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