i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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