She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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