I need help removing her.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
