yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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