He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
The best revenge is premature balding
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
