I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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