i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
