Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
