Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
