why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
