so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
