He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
