you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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