there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
