Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
