i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
