Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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