apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize