a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it was like his penis was on wheels.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
