goodnight i made you a song goodbye
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
