My room smells like vodka and shame
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
