Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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