im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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