the day after is always just damage control
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
