No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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