omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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