i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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