he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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