i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
