MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Randomize
