You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
