Small penises have feelings too.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
