so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
